Enough with the 'If I can do it, why can't you' backlash

‘Eeee, apa masalah dia sebenarnya? Aku watlek watpeace je, yang dia rasa payah sangat da kepehal? If I can do it, why can’t she?’

‘Aku dulu pernah jugak berada dalam posisi dia weh. Sama jawatan, same problem. I handled it just fine. Dia tu yang reti hadapi’

*          *          *

Sounds familiar?

Lazimnya ini berlaku bila kita lihat incompetency mereka yang lain. Dan lazimnya peluang nak lihat incompetency ni di tengah-tengah kehangatan konflik, time buat kerja bersama dll.

PALING LAZIM ayat ni terpacul dari mulut seseorang bila dia sudah mampu, so tengok orang lain tu tak mampu geram sangat rasa.

Dalam kemarahan aku, ada jugak terpacul ayat-ayat yang similar.

Bila fikir balik rasa nak tembak my old-self dengan peluru kesedaran bertubi-tubi!

Honestly, enough already with the ‘If I can do it, why can’t she/he?’

Tanya diri sendiri, adakah segala kemampuan orang yang diperlekehkan itu, kau jamin dapat buat?

Kalau dia pandai kawal marah, kau mampu?

Kalau dia pandai senyum time hati tengah robek, kau mampu?

Kalau dia pandai tahan diri dari mengumpat, kau mampu?

Dan entah apa lagi kelebihan dia yang tak diketahui..

Jadi mengapa kau persoalkan kekurangan dirinya sewenang-wenangnya?

‘Eh tak boleh ke kita nak tegur kekurangan? Apa nak biar sahaja? Ini untuk kebaikan orang itu jugak ok. ‘

No, no. Boleh naik gila aku kalau segala kekurangan kita buat senyap sahaja, tanpa ditegur. Aku juga ada kekurangan yang perlu teguran.

Yang aku nak HIGHLIGHTKAN adalah mempersoalkan kekurangan orang lain berdasarkan kelebihan diri sendiri. Mana fair wohh dudes and babes.

Family background, sama kah?

Konflik yang pernah dihadapi, sama kah?

Kawan-kawan, sama kah?

Hatta adik-beradik pon boleh bagai langit dan bumi perbezaan personalitinya ini kan orang luar weh!

So how the heck could you expect a person to have the exact same capabilities as you?

What might be easy for you might be damn difficult for others.

And what might be damn difficult for you might be easy peasy for others.

Open up your mind a little. 

‘Apa yang susah sangatnya? Aku ok je buat’ <-- This sentence? Get rid of it from your life’s dictionary.

Kekadang tu kita terlalu menemplak masalah kita lupa nak cari root problem.

Everyone is the way they are because of a reason.

It doesn’t mean that all their weaknesses and bad qualities can be excused, but it DOES mean that we must have some understanding on our part.

Salam munasabah.

#Sentapanuntukdirisendiri

P/S :

There are two sides of the coin to this.

If you are the person who feels others are in need of change (THEY're the ones incompetent), have PATIENCE and UNDERSTANDING. Have some PERSPECTIVE and EMPATHY. It’s not easy, but the inability to have patience, understanding, perspective and empathy is what’s lacking in your part, so fix yourself first.

If you are the person who are constantly told to change, and yet you find it difficult because of your family background, past experiences bla bla bla. I get it. People say it’s just an excuse but it’s not. No one truly can truly understand your struggles coz no one is you. But life’s circumstances cannot define you and it should not. In the end it is still your choice, so you can tell your family background, past experiences bla bla bla they can buzz off and you will decide how you should be, despite everything.

Peace :)