Pada 8 mei yang lalu, maka tamatlah perkhidmatanku sebagai guru praktikum di SK Desa Tasik. Whewww what an experience! Honestly speaking, I was a lazy and lamey teacher, but the pupils were lovely. Rasa menyesal tak give my best, tak give my all. Because the pupils were my first babies.. My anak-anak sulong. My lab rats. My experiments. They were the first to see my shortcomings as a teacher, my efforts, my passion, my struggle, my love..
And the 1 month that I get to be with them, I've learnt so much. Betullah orang kata, you can learn so much from children.. So kat sini aku nak list benda-benda yang aku dah belajar dari anak-anak muridku sayang!
1) To show your appreciation and love without shame, like its a badge of honour.
Children are honest. They say 'I love you' repeatedly, without any fear of not getting an ' I love you too' back. They don't mind if they've said it too much, or it if sounds all mushy. Even the boys, even the naughty ones. Even the ones that I always get mad at, ones I always ask to stand up on chairs for being noisy, ones that I don't give much attention to compared to the others. Kita da besar ni, nak cakap 'I love you' and 'Thank you' tu punya payah, sebab takut bunyi 'clingy' atau 'overly-attached' atau lemah lembut gemalai sangat. Dah tua kena ajet-ajet taff takde emosi gituuhh.. Tetapi tidak mereka. Walaupon aku takde jasa apa sangat pon (and I'm not being humble here), walaupon aku bersama mereka sebulan cuma, but the outpouring of love and appreciation from them are overwhelming. Nangis wohh aku akhirnya.
Sorang budak ni, Qutnizan namanya.. Memang sangat nakal. Aku salu suruh dia berdiri atas kerusi. Kalau minta buat kerja malas-malasan. Tapi hari terakhir aku, dia bagi aku home-made card yang dia lukis dan tulis sendiri..Depan kad, tulis besar -besar 'We <3 Miss Soffea'.. Ayat dia dalam kad tu 'Masa miss mula-mula masuk dulu, takde sapa nak layan miss. Tapi lama-kelamaan, semua orang sayang miss.'. Berdepan dengan aku, minta aku jangan pergi. Minta aku ajar lagi. Minta maaf atas kesilapan sebelum ini. Waduh sebak! Tak sangka dihukum berkali-kali masih reti memberi apresiasi.
Aku paling terharu mereka ambil marker pen aku yang kaler kaler tu nak tulis nota nota cinta di whiteboard. Sebab asyik tak cukup ruang, ramai yang padam kawan punya sampai jadi gaduh.. Ada siap tulis warning kat board jangan padam dia punya! Haha lucu-lucu. My second last day mereka buat cheers 'We love Miss Soffea'.. Wuuu :'( :'( :'( Aku jadi awkward tak reti nak respon macamane hanya mampu cakap 'awwww'. Thankyou children! I love you all too!
2) To be forgiving. To let things go.
Babes and dudes, aku ni jadi teacher leh tahan garangnya. Mengamok tak cukup jari haa bilangannya. Aku dok kutuk sistem punishment tapi aku ni suka gak punish budak. Sadist gitu. Pembaris 1 meter tu aku hentak hentak nya haaa kat atas meja sampai terdiam semua. Habis pasif bebudak hyper aku. Kah3. Jahat k. Tapi bebudak ni, the next day buat macam it never happened. Kekadang amarah aku ni tak padan dengan salah. Tapi the next day, bukan nak dendam, bukan nak merajuk, siap datang meja 'Miss let me carry that for you!' (walaupon hanya lah pencil box), and said sorry for yesterday. Kita dah tua bangka ni, salah kecik pon tanak maapkan sampai mati. I wish I have a heart as big as theirs to forgive and let go. I'm sorry children, for all my faults.. Grow up in age and maturity, but always keep your pure heart.. :)
3) To be eager and excited about life.
My children were always excited for learning. They got excited over getting the correct answers, were not easily put off when they've got the wrong answers. Nak sifu motivation, kau tengok budak-budak belajar. Everything is a wonder to them. Everything is exciting. Serious aku envy dengan positive energy mereka.. Bila seseorang da meningkat dewasa (ecece aku ajet-ajet matang sekarang), the stresses of life brings you down. You don't think about the fresh new start of tomorrow, but you dwell with the doomness of now, of today. You don't think you can escape, like ever, like there's not gonna be some light at the end of the tunnel. Kids on the other hand, though they have their bad days too, they would always think ' Well there is always tomorrow'... Kids, I'm inspired!
4) To always ask.
Miss can I go to the toilet?
Miss, can you speak slower, I don't understand..
Miss can I speak in Melayu, I don't know..
Miss ajar lah kami lagi!
Miss jadikan saya anak angkat miss!
Miss datanglah jumpa kami!
Miss bawaklah kami jalan-jalan!
Miss, janganlah tinggalkan kami....
Da besar, kita malas da nak meminta. Nak bertanya. Independent katanya.. Sampaikan doa pada Tuhan pon sudah hilang kesungguhannya.. Teringat aku pada pesanan seseorang, nak minta sesuatu kepada Allah, mintalah sepertimana budak kecil.. Tidak kenal erti penat, erti putus asa, akan minta sampai dapat! Orang 'dewasa' ni pon sudah kurang bertanya. Sombong agaknya. Takut dianggapi bodoh. Sudah rasa dirinya pandai. Walhal budak-budak ini tidak pernah malu mengaku tidak tahu.. Thank you children, for making me feel needed.. Walhal adalah aku yang perlukan mereka .. :')
5) You can't save everyone
Ok. This is one of the toughest lesson of all. Of course kau nak SEMUA orang jadi rajin belajar, dengar kata, faham pelajaran. But that's unrealistic, you know that, but you still want it. That already made me demotivated the first week in as a teacher. Unrealistic goals lead to REAL pain. Dalam dunia ni, kita nak semua benda nampak, nak semua benda immediate. Barangkali dek kecanggihan teknologi, dek kepantasan globalisasi, semua benda kita nak super fast and furious jugak. Nak budak faham segera. Siapkan kerja segera. Semua segera! segera! segera! Agaknya kita mengharap pemahaman anak murid ni selaju siapnya maggi segera. Always remember "Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant."..
6) The satisfaction of imparting knowledge
Kelas aku low-proficiency. Third class but they can have real trouble in understanding the simplest of English. The first day teaching, aku minta mereka salin the first sentence of each paragraph. Siap tunjuk contoh segala apa bagai. Some still got it wrong, so I didn't have high expectations for them.
Haritu aku decide nak ajar benda payah sikit, and aku buat lagak berani nak ajar mereka benda susah tu waktu lecturer aku nak datang observe. Aktiviti dia adalah transferring information from non-linear text to linear text. Mereka perlu menganalisis pie chart dan text and vice versa. Waktu mengajar tu, serious budak-budak aku semua pasang muka blur gila tak faham. Pasif gila semua orang. Aku tanya 'Class, do you understand?', krik krik gila tak macam biasa. Dalam hati dah risau, macamane ni. Beberapa orang angkat tangan cakap 'Miss, I don't understand'. So I repeated my explanation. Lari lah sikit masa teaching aku, but macamane nak go on to the next stage kalau mereka tak faham right? So aku tanya sekali lagi, separuh kelas kata faham.. Aku anggap itu green light untuk go on.. Buat aktiviti seterusnya, (game quiz).. ALHAMDULILLAH, faham rupanya! And I mean EVERYBODY! Pehh puas beb! Buat lagi satu activity, sebab game quiz tu aktiviti berkumpulan, next activity aku bagi tasksheet mereka kena lengkapkan secara individu.. Everybody got it right. I was majorly surprised, and of course pleased! Syamim yang suka buat leka dalam kelas aku pon participate and got his answers right! Aku jarang ajar benda susah-susah sangat sebab suka berada dalam comfort zone, suka rasa confirm-confirm objektif pelajaran tercapai.. So bila mereka berjaya faham, waduhh terharunya hanya Allah saja tahu! Thank you my lovelies, for you have taught me knowledge too!
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Hahaha sekian sahaja laporan dari Miss Soffea. There's just so much to share, and I can't put all my experiences into words, maka ini sahaja yang mampu. When they say that teaching is a noble profession, a fulfilling job...
I get it now. :)
